- Mark Twain
Ain't that the truth. Sometimes, the internet (or the radio) has a way of rubbing salt in your wounds. Maybe, it's just when you are sensitive to things they stand out more as a reminder of what's been on your mind. Anyway, this certainly is true. I'm rather young and I already feel angst over my youth and the things I didn't do.
I've been telling Brian I'm going to be a bad mother, because my advice to my kids is going to be kiss as many boys as you can while you're still young and able to be silly. But I think it's good advice I had taken. (I also think the best advice I have is "Don't listen to people's advice" so who knows) I literary have a laundry list of people I should have kissed in my head. Bhah! It's funny because I look back as an adult and remember interactions with people I'm now I can clearly see they liked me. As a kid you would never have had the confidence to presume that a boy liked you. It was much harder to figure out back then and you were too shy.
I wish I had trespass more with Divya! I really wish I had TP-ed more people. Now, I'm at an age where it wouldn't be cute if I spent my weekends throwing toilet paper at people's house, but that doesn't mean I don't want to! I wish I had skinny dipped when I had a body not to be ashamed of--but I was ashamed of it back then. I wish I had taken more nude photos---to remember my beauty. lol I'm kidding about that one. I wish I had climbed more trees while my joints we still good (cruse you genetics). I wish I had let myself be crazier when my age alone would have gotten me off the hook! I should have experimented more with crazy fashions while people wouldn't hold it against me.
That's the thing I didn't fully understand as a teenager. I literary could have done anything. I could have tried anything. I could have gone through any phase, style, hobby, interest, obsession, boyfriend, religious cult, craze, or whatever and people would have given me a pass because of my youth. I mean people might have still thought you were dumb, but you would grow out of it and it'd be okay. Now, I'm at the age where I'm supposed to be over experimentation and childishness, and if it's not my age that perverts me it's my martial status. Married people with a condo and 2 car payments (their paid off, but back in the day) aren't supposed to spend their time throwing toilet paper at people's houses. Why!? I mean the cops will let kids walk, but grow bummed adults will be reducible for their immaturity.
But I never claimed that my maturity level was why I got married. I was never mature and I'm not mature. It's like just because I'm married people expect me to skip my milestones in my earlier 20ies. Maybe, that's all in my head but I feel the pressure and the stigma of being a young bride. Like I'm not supposed to want to go sit at Denny's till 2:00 in the morning only ordering lemonades and talking smack with my friends. I'm still developmentally in the same place as those dumb college kids who make bad life decisions and change their major 6 times. I never claimed to be mature. I don't want to grow u! I'm a Toys R Us Kid.---See; i'm not mature.
At the end of the day my motivations for getting married, when I was 19, was that I wanted to be able to live with my boyfriend in a way that would be socially acceptable and not bring shame to the family. I mean I didn't think that was my motivations at the time, but if we are honest it wasn't much deeper than that. I've said it before and I'll say it again. 19 year olds are dumb; we shouldn't listen to then until they are 22 at the earliest. They aren't even a fully developed human. Literally your brain isn't finished yet. Oh well, live and learn.
I think I'll just have to get better at not getting caught when I go TPing. If you don't get caught there is no shame, right?
Maybe, this is why I'm really excited to go to Japan. No one will know me so i'm going to try all the crazy trends. Just google image search "Japanese Street Fashion" to see my new look. I'm going to have crazy hair and costumes. And it's going to be totally cool because it's normal there. Here are some examples:
Maybe, this is why I'm really excited to go to Japan. No one will know me so i'm going to try all the crazy trends. Just google image search "Japanese Street Fashion" to see my new look. I'm going to have crazy hair and costumes. And it's going to be totally cool because it's normal there. Here are some examples:
p.s. songs about it "not being too late." Just piss me off.
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